Life in Perspective

We’ve all been there at one time or another, listening sympathetically as someone complains about his or her ‘day from hell’. And at the same time that we feel compassion, we can’t silence the little voice in the back of our head that whispers ‘I’ve had a lot worse days than that’. We don’t do it to be insensitive, or to belittle their misery. We do it because we are human, and our memory bank is the essence of who we are. Forming a personal perspective is a lifetime process that begins at birth and continuously evolves as we add new experiences to our repertoire.

There is nothing more genuine than a young child’s pure perspective of life - joyous and full of wonder, as everything is experienced for the first time. But as we age we interact differently with the world around us, and our perspective of the same things can change, often tarnishing those shiny silver memories.

Back when I was a kid and Revere Beach still had rides, I was awestruck by the Boston skyline as seen from the top of the Mickey Mouse roller coaster. It beckoned like the Emerald City, sparking and bright, full of opportunity and unknown riches. But after commuting to Boston for over 20 years, I’ve peeked behind the curtain and realize it’s not as glorious when you are one of the hard working munchkins trying to keep the gears in motion.

Several years ago I begged a friend to visit the Polar Caves in New Hampshire with me. My recollection was of cavernous hollows big enough to go spelunking in if you were so inclined. But 30 years later, as I struggled to fit through the tight chasms- even taking the ‘old fart’ walkway around one particularly tight fit- I almost wished I hadn’t tarnished my magical childhood memory by trying to relive the experience as my super-sized senior self.

In the perspective of a young life, school and friendships are such a huge part of our daily existence that any type of social rejection can be crushing. It’s a pain parents feel helpless to relieve, even if we lived through similar struggles. Thinking back to the years I was teased and harassed, no one could convince me that things would ever get better. In perspective, those struggles made me more determined to succeed in life, but could have easily broken me as well.

That's the thing with perspective- you have to earn it yourself, usually the hard way. You have to live long enough to be able to turn around and compare where you've been with where you are today to fully realize what it took to get here. Often, decisions made when we are too young to understand their full implications can change the direction of our lives forever.

Perspective is not a clear-cut proposition, as shared experiences can change us in different ways. For some, the life changing news of death or illness shakes us to the core, causing us to find a renewed purpose and appreciation of life. But for others, bad news begins a spiral of negativity where only the sadness and tragedy of life is highlighted, like Pooh’s chronically depressed friend, Eeyore. Which leads me to wonder if it is our experiences in life, or how we respond to them, that truly shape who we become.

I’m pondering that thought while waiting in line to buy a coffee on yet another stormy morning, when an exasperated child, covered in snow and wearing boots that appear to be two sizes too large, bursts through the door with his mother and exclaims to everyone “This is the best winter ever!” which of course brings the house down with laughter. “That depends on your perspective” I said, with a hint of sadness at the memory of myself as that same child, my wonder now turned to weariness at the thought of the long road that lies ahead.