Beyond Driving School

The words Student Driver were painted on all sides of the vehicle, along with a giant sign on top just in case you missed it; acting like a warning label about what was inside. As the young adult carefully showed off his parallel parking skills, I recalled the sort of things we needed to memorize to get that coveted piece of paper known as a learner’s permit. This included essential knowledge about what constitutes a "thickly settled area" – which is more than just our midsection after Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve driven for 35 years now, and have never once said "darn, what is a thickly settled area again?" But I have gained enough driving wisdom to offer a few addendums to common rules of the road for the newbies out there.

NEVER DRIVE DISTRACTED. But assume that everyone else does. With vehicles full of gadgets- from cell phones to ipods, satellite radio to GPS systems, DVD players to TV sets- it is often the actual driving that becomes the distraction, with the rules of the road threatening to ruin their multi-media auto entertainment experience.

ALWAYS STOP FOR PEDESTRIANS IN THE CROSSWALK. That is, if they use the crosswalk. Many pedestrians shun the safe haven of road crossings altogether, and instead launch sneak attacks from in between parked cars. Others prefer the ‘what are you going to do about it’ approach and jaywalk as they stare you down and hold up their hand in a STOP signal forcing you to slam on your brakes so hard everything not tied down lands on the floor. Including your heart.

GREEN MEANS GO. Green actually means wait for drivers who consider yellow to be the new green as they floor it to beat the red light. In their unrelenting effort to not let anyone cut in front of them, they will come to a dead stop blocking the intersection. Thus securing their place as next in line, and leaving you basking in the glow of the green light as if reflects off their rear panel while you sit through another light cycle.

UNLESS POSTED OTHERWISE, RIGHT ON RED IS ALLOWED AFTER A FULL STOP WHEN TRAFFIC IS CLEAR. Right on red is also the new green. New Englanders are always in a hurry to go nowhere and will turn right on red whenever they darn well feel like it. And if you do not defer to the impatient right on red-ers, you will get a bonus vocabulary lesson which reads something like George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Words skit.

FOLLOW THE POSTED SPEED LIMIT. And in doing so, be prepared for the wrath of harried and hurried drivers who will subject you to angry tailgating, beeping and assorted hand signals as they blow by you- hopefully right into a speed trap.

USE YOUR DIRECTIONALS TO INDICATE A TURN. This assumes most drivers actually know where they are going. More likely, they will get caught up in their multi media auto experience and swerve dramatically without warning as they break out of their trance long enough to realize they are about to miss their turn. While others will use their blinkers merely as a suggestion of what they ‘might’ do, reserving the right to boot it and go straight as you try to pass them.

I’ve driven over a million miles since I got my license, and learned at least as many lessons along the way. But the hardest driving lesson of all is that our lives and well being are not just in our hands, but in the hands of the strangers we share the roads with. Which is why your parents will wait and watch until you safely pull into the driveway before they can breath again. Because it’s not just your driving they are worried about, its everyone else’s as well.

So drive safe, drive smart and most importantly- drive alert.

Or better yet, leave the car at home and take up running instead.