That’s Just What Happens as You Get Older

From a very young age, I felt older than my years. In my teens, I babysat my brother, 10 years younger. Whether walking him to the playground or bringing him to a Salem High School poster party, I was always aware that I was responsible for someone other than just me. In college, I worked in the Office of Academic Affairs, and spent more time with my professors than with my classmates.

My first newspaper management opportunity came when I was 25 years old. Young and petite, I had to project myself as older and wiser to avoid being viewed as "the little girl in Classified", trying to appear bigger and roar louder to be taken seriously, something the animal kingdom has practiced successfully for centuries.

Halfway through my 49th year, or "almost 50" as I call it, I still round my age up. I realize this is not the girly thing to do, but I’d rather have someone think I look good for an older age than like crap for the age I really am. The truth is, I have no desire to hide my age, and being a runner I have no choice. When the results of one of my first races was published in the newspaper, my mother said in horror "I can’t believe they printed your AGE!" But while being my age doesn’t bother me, feeling my age does.

Sitting at my desk typing, I notice a spot on the back of my hand. The dermatologist examines it carefully under a magnifying glass, and delivers her expert analyses: "It’s an age spot. That’s just what happens as you get older." Easy for her to say, as my fantasies of eternal youth are crushed and my countdown clock starts ticking.

THAT’S JUST WHAT HAPPENS AS YOU GET OLDER. That diagnosis wrote the verse I’ve heard repeatedly since then, like a song you hate but can’t stop singing. My morning back pain? That’s just what happens as you get older. Gray hair? That’s just what happens as you get older. Is it 1,000 degrees in here or is it me? That’s just what happens as you get older. I recently met up with college friends I reconnected with on Facebook. We remarked cheerfully how little we had changed over the past 20 years, until the menus came. In a scene reminiscent of a Wild West gunfight, we eyed each other silently, then simultaneously drew our reading glasses and laughed. That’s just what happens as you get older!

The funny thing about is aging, is the definition of "old" depends on who you are talking to. While I’m closer to be called "Ma’am" than "Miss" by a stranger, in the eyes of adults who knew me from childhood, I’m still a kid. Like a scene from Cold Case where a young person slowly morphs into their current age, we remain at our core the same evolving soul, albeit in a body that doesn’t always cooperate with our youthful intentions. While there is little I can do to stop my body from traveling along on its physical journey, I can open the door and drag my feet to slow it down. Not because I fear aging, but because I have come to enjoy living.

And that is what happens as you get older.