A Well Scheduled Life

"I can’t make it on December 3, I have something else scheduled that day." As I say the words, I look at my calendar book. Today is April 15. The receptionist on the other end is nonplused as she works to fit me in. It dawns on me this is nothing unusual for her. "Let me grab my 2010 calendar…" she says. Wait a minute, did she say 2010? How can I possibly "carpe diem" when I have an appointment pending for February 2010, and when did my life become so busy?
Truth is, I have been busy since the 1960’s. I just had different priorities. Instead of restructuring my department, I was building forts out of cardboard boxes. Instead of preparing dinner, I was baking cakes in my Easy Bake Oven. And instead of running to the drugstore to pickup a prescription, I was picking up a cherry coke and the latest issue of Tiger Beat magazine. Between stapling photos of Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy to my bedroom walls and lip synching to my 45 records, I was out straight!
In high school I was equally busy, juggling homework and babysitting with two jobs- one after school, and one at night. Fast forward to college, where I added a work study job to the mix, yet somehow found the energy to leave my waitress job at 11 p.m. to meet my friends at the "disco" before pulling an all-nighter cramming for a test the next day.
Enter the working world, where I still found it difficult to work just one job at a time. I held onto my waitress gig for years until one night when I was asked to wait on a large group, which turned out to be the owner of the newspaper where I was working as Classified Director and his family. As Oprah would say, that was my "aha" moment, and I quit that night. It was also the time I realized I could replace the time spent at my 2nd job with volunteer work, which would ultimately bring much greater benefits than a part time pay check.
Today, I volunteer on three different boards despite the heavy demands and long hours of my job. One year not too long ago in the "Perfect Storm" of volunteerism, I served as President of all three at the same time. Add a marathon or two a year to fill in the gaps, and there is barely a moment of the day that remains unscheduled. Oh wait, there is still some free time. Maybe I should write an article for the Salem Gazette.
While it appears crystal clear that there is something down deep in my soul that compels me to not let a wasted moment pass, my fantasy is a time when it will not always be so. I dream about slowing down and giving myself breathing room to separate what I want to do from what I feel compelled to do. I think about simplifying my life to the basics, then inviting back in those things I truly miss. But that is the nature of a fantasy- it is an illusion, not reality.
My reality is the bright pink calendar book, which still sits open as I wait on hold to find out where I need to be almost a year from now. It is full of appointments, plans and schedules. But it’s also full of hopes, dreams and promises to be kept.
On my refrigerator is this quote by Alfred D. Souza:
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
And so it dawns on me now, these plans I have are my life. And my intention is to continue to live as full a life as I can cram into my hot pink calendar book pages.